Partner Tips: What the Heck are you Supposed to do Besides Stand There?

Let's be real: if you are someone's partner in the delivery room, you might be wondering what exactly your job is... and how to avoid standing around like a nervous extra in a medical drama.

To start, no, you are not a decorative houseplant. You are part of this team! While your person is working harder than they have ever worked in their life, you've got a crucial role to play.

Here are some ideas to start:

• Massage

  • Counter pressure. Back Rubs. Hip squeezes. Don't worry about doing them wrong - solicit feedback from your partner and do what feels good to them.

  
  

• Snack Mule

  • Pack the snacks, know where they are, and keep your partner fed. Bonus points for unwrapping a granola bar with one hand while still rubbing their back with your other. Snacks = stamina,

    
    

• Emotional Support

  • This is huge. Labor is intense, unpredictable, and sometimes scary. You do not need to know all the right words, you just need to be there, Look them in the eye. Tll them they are amazing. Tell them you love them, Stay steady when things feel wobbly.

    
    

• Tech & Vibes

  • You are in charge of the playlist, the lighting, the thermostat, and the camera, Nobody wants to birth their baby under full blast fluorescent lights. Set the mood. Capture the moments. Be the vibe curator and protect your space.

    
    

• Advocate

  • You don't need to become a medical expert overnight. Be the voice that asks for a pause to give you and your partner time to think. Discuss your partner's priorities and preferences ahead of time and communicate them to the medical staff. Help to process new information and navigate challenges. Be the microphone for your partner's voice.

You are essential. You are part of your family's story - show up!